Conspiracy

So, let's get analytical. As horrible as it may sound, my relationship is wrapping up its third week and already, I'm wondering about potential vanilla cakes. To be perfectly honest, this one has been at the back of my mind for...seven months. I don't really know how it'd work out (as I haven't really tried to run through what I believe a simulation would be like), but this is just one of the people that just appeal to me because of the fact that we both enjoy torturing a mutual friend. I mean sure, it's deeper than that, but sometimes, it just feels like I want people for the sake of a challenge. Who knows? We shall see.

In other news, my mother suspects me of being bulimic. I don't know...She's weird like that. We went out to Ikea and I bought a new bedspread (black...for the large amount of not messing it up I plan to do *cough*) and a denim pillowcase I plan to seamstress and transform into a bag. Yesh. I also bought a vase and I was planning on presenting to my mother tomorrow for Mother's Day...Poor soul has to work that day.

(Side note, I feel fat...not sure why, must be the amount of exercise I'm not doing...)

You know, no one is truly tempting in the way that I just have to jump them any time I see them. My demonic and mischievous side has started to get desperate and is no longer picky as to who she attacks, as long as they are slightly attractive...which ironically means she will not attack my boyfriend...but it's not like there is this one special person she has set aside for...pursuit. I'm not going to lie, the more time I spend with Snake, the easier he is getting...He's too desperate for anything that he'd cave into anything I'd ask. I don't know why all of these boys have to be so easy...I mean, where's the fun in the chase if they don't even run?

I think that the way I analyze people is different from the way normal people think. If I were any of the people I tell things to, I'd be acting different around me just because of all the things I've told them. I've confided in people that I need challenge, but they still let me win. They still make things easy for me, they still come to me for help. There's nothing wrong with them coming to me for help, but these people don't have anything I want in return. I need someone to compete with, I need someone to beat me in things. I think that's why I still quietly compete with Cale. He's not going to stop trying for my sake, so he's one of the only people who actually give a fight. It's always been about the highest score or the best compliments. It's always been a friendly competition.

Just by providing me with your habits and the small things you do, I can tell just how you will act to certain things. I know I can read people. I know how people act and how they are used to things. I know that Bella and Otter are afraid of change so they are still in their relationship. I know what to expect from people, I know why they do things. Isn't it scary to know how the human mind works to this degree? Isn't it scary to know you are right about things you don't want to be right about?

-19 Dried Roses, Would You Have Added More?
Scarlet Bloodmoon