Why Did I Turn My Back on Music?

Three years ago, I stopped playing the violin on a regular basis. Shortly after that, the fingerboard collapsed. Even if I wanted to pull out my beautiful instrument, I can't play it. Last year, I brought home a cello. I played it a little, but I never got into it. I've stopped playing music. The only amount I do now is watch my 9 year old brother play the piano and show him how to play the new songs. I've learned how to sight read very well over these seven years, but I can't play anymore. Five years ago, I thought having an electric violin would be the coolest thing ever. I loved how they defied the conventional shape to produce the full sound. They just looked really cool.

I guess, in a way, I've never really separated myself from music, I just kind of stopped making it. It kind of depresses me now that I've stopped playing the violin. It would be great if I could go back to playing it.

Last night, I went to the Trans Siberian Orchestra concert. I guess they kind of do symphonic rock and medley lots of classical and typically orchestral pieces with guitars, electric bass, and drums. It was a fun show: the music was wonderful, but the Christmas-y part was a little too much. They opened with a piece that eventually segued into Farandole and it made me realize just how much I miss being able to play for fun.

Maybe I got too busy to play my violin after awhile. I was doing so many things, trying to find myself, define the world, and exist that I didn't have the time to learn to love the way 440 Hertz felt as the vibrations brushed across my skin. Maybe it's that I resigned myself to being not that great for so long that I forced myself into the perpetual bit of doubt. Maybe I had never truly appreciated the timbre of a violin and it was only after I found myself so excited to hear a song intro in violin that I realized this. It's such a distinct sound with so many faces and emotions. I miss it.

-Promoting Music in all the Weird Places

Scarlet Bloodmoon