Irony

My life is a giant, ironic joke.

For example, I started this blog during the spring break of my Junior year of high school. Still single, the idea was to glamorize my life and make myself sound more exciting. I blogged more often then than I do now, when my life is exciting and I do have a sex life. I've defeated the purpose of this blog, firstly by hoping to keep this thing anonymous but only giving the link to friends and then by refusing to kiss and tell.

Secondly, throughout a fairly lengthy period, I was given emotional advice by someone who shouldn't even be allowed to give advice with anything outside of hard facts and logic. I follow them today simply because they've become a habit. I'm doing very well with my emotional life.

I've always thought myself to be completely independent. I'm not. I'm a scared little girl who craves attention. I've gotten used to the level of attention I normally get and without that, and especially pumped full of varying levels of estrogen and progesterone, I'm a walking time bomb. I get irritated quickly, I very often crave sympathy and when I do not receive the amount I find satisfactory, I make myself a victim and try to get even more sympathy from other people. My life is grand, but I still do this to myself and others.

My favorite irony is the part where I take advantage of being a woman, but bitch at every other one who doesn't understand the complexities of life. I don't comprehend the entirety of life and I still rant about other people. I will often compare myself to a guy, claim I'm more boyish than I am a girl, but when it comes down to it, I would love to dress up, make up, look pretty and hear a guy stutter out a compliment. And maybe that's why I am a boy most of the time is so the shock I get is real and definitely there all the time.

On the plus side, I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm totally okay with everything in life right now.

The exciting thing is my brothers are finally about ready to start driving themselves. This means I can be more selfish with my scheduling next semester and move closer to moving out. On one side, I look forward to this. On the other, it's a bit scary. I know that with the advantages, I would work my ass off just to be able to stay independent, but I don't want to take advantage of other people. I've been living off of people for the entirety of my life. I guess it's kind of my life goal to give something back to them.

Card-Carrying Hypocrites

Girls, women, females, whatever. We are the largest hypocrites in the world. Like, we live a double standard and then expect everything to work for us because we are the "weaker/fairer/whatever sex." Well, dears, I have news for you!

Firstly, the feminist movement as been up and about; the radical ones call men pigs and tote science around almost inaccurately and say females would do fine and be able to repopulate the world without men. And then they expect every guy they cross to be chivalrous and when they don't do that, they freak out. When the men are chivalrous, they feel emasculated. The lighter ones dump this superiority complex onto men and whip them into obeying it. When men try to level things out and make the relationship something more of an equality, the women freak out, withhold sex, and condition males to be douche-y tools.

Secondly, with fashion and modesty constantly being redefined to be more revealing, females jump on the opportunity to make men squirm. And then they are all up in arms about rape statistics, and have to carry Mace or pepper spray. I'm totally into the idea of personal defense, but there is a point where eventually, you're pretty much asking for trouble by wearing the things you do and walking around drunk people. And since these girls are always freaking out about who might be a potential rapist, they are at a constant level of being ready to pepper spray the hell out of someone. They are on this level to the point where they are ready to "defend" themselves in widely public areas or small enclosed spaces where it is not only dangerous to release an aerosol, but an aerosol of a heavy irritant might as well be fucking illegal.

This leads to more points, but the main one is the large double standard on how people are perceived. Girls seem to freak the hell out when a strange male over the age of maybe 15 talks to them or attempts to ask for help. Yes, American culture dictates as little communication between strangers, but we are in an area where American culture has been diluted. Mexican culture is extremely comfortable talking to strangers. In fact, Mexican culture seems to dictate a friendliness where Americans would consider that too close and too personal. And girls don't get that. And most of those artsy girls think they are so refined and cultural. But any single female would rather drop dead than ignore some fairly attractive male that might be asking for help or just sitting across some form of public transportation from her. Most girls, if they are the quiet and bookish type, will secretly hope the guy starts conversation.

Oh, and girls looking to sabotage a relationship and then win the heart of the guy of said relationship always compare herself to the girlfriend. ALWAYS. This motivates them and they seem to find justification from this. Afterward, when they achieve the relationship, they do not want to hear a word about any other girl that came before them. Well, you spent a great deal of time comparing yourself to the girl, why can't he get a say in what you might have been deluding yourself over? Even girls who don't sabotage relationships compare themselves to old girlfriends. They find faults or analyze the reasons for the end of those relationships and then compare those traits to herself in some self-esteem-boosting bit of "I was better than that whore" fun. And then the guy brings up something that he wishes you could do, because the last girl was just like this. And you freak out. You've been comparing yourself to the list all along and once someone else starts, it's now unacceptable?

I'm no saint. I'm a hypocrite is lots of places. I know I don't really do any of the double standards listed here, but I know I'm just as big a hypocrite as the next person. I know how to dress modestly, but still look rather good, I know how to have conversations with strange people in public places, I know how to not freak out on a guy simply because he's equalizing the relationship. People who don't know how to do these things bother me. I suppose there are people out there who can't stand bad qualities I have, and that's because they don't have these qualities and they think people who don't understand are idiotic, but that's not my point. Sure, some girls really are lacking intellectually. Statistically, that is true. Sure, there are some of them that are so feminist they make no sense in their demand for "equality." And those people are just completely extreme. But the point here is, we are all hypocrites because we don't realize what we are doing and try for the "best of both worlds."