I don't know where this started or why I thought about it, but as I was passing SanTan Junior High this afternoon, I realized that out of my four exes, three of them I'm sure have liked this girl before or after dating me. I mean, the first one makes sense...he knew her first. He was closer to her, but was forced to get over her when she turned him down. The second one was totally obvious. He was like a brother to her...and she was just looking for fun. He so would. Third one...I don't know. He's just him that way...It wasn't surprising, it wasn't shocking, it was almost expected. It was...systematic in a twisted way.
I used to look up to her. I used to want to be as free and as capable as she was. After awhile, I realized that I was looking for the wrong things, that I would never be someone like her. It just wasn't my style to become someone else, a clone. After time, I stopped wanting to be like her, stopped liking how she changed entirely. But that's entirely not the point! For most of my teenage years, I wondered just how much I was like her and how much people associated me with her. Well, all of that doesn't matter anymore, none of that really applies anymore. I'm not her, I am totally my own person. I totally hate how it took me so long and so many people to realize it.
-That's it. I'm done.
Scarlet Bloodmoon
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