Pride...

I've decided pride has to be my worst sin. I get small bubbles from time to time, and when the big guns hit, I get way cocky. Friday was fun, and that day, I hadn't seen James until...third period. I was carrying a huge poster board thing so I had to have people hold doors and alert me when I was about to smack someone with the board. Well, Calculus went alright, I half paid attention and still understood the lesson, but neh. As class got out, James and another friend were waiting outside the door for me (and well, another girl too, but eh.) We joked about how he let go of the door when I was heading out (which was an amusing tangent) and then headed off to lunch. More being cute and making people mad when we got cuddly, and then lunch ended. James walked me halfway to physics and it was an amusing class. We had a test that we all later learned we failed the last two questions.

Class ended and I traveled to meet a group of people. James was a little late, carrying an extra backpack. It was Bella's who was just behind him. We trekked to our cars and just before we got there, I wondered aloud where my keys were. James commented that they were probably in the ignition, joking about it. They were. We laughed at how silly I was and it was a good thing that this was the Mormon building so no one would steal it. We went to the library, pulling into the parking lot. We stood around and chatted with people until they all went away. Then, James and I traveled to his house and was greeted by his mother. We watched August Rush and The Illusionist which was fun. August Rush pissed me off because of all the musical inaccuracies and storybook ending and The Illusionist was fun. I had already seen the end, so the whole effect was lost on me. After that, Bella was done cooking with her grandparents for Passover so we headed over to her house and left for dinner. We went to a Mexican restaurant we had previously went to with another friend who moved to Texas. It was alright, but not good. We decided that we weren't going to go back.

After going back to Bella's house, we lounged around for a long time, reading off interesting lists of top tens and trying to watch a movie. My parents called, angry and a little bit rawry and demanded I go home, but lazy, I stayed there, curled against James. Eventually, I offered to give him a ride home (since we took my car from his house) and then headed back. My parents got even more rawry by the time I got home and took away a lot of conveniences. I picked up a few things in my room, ranted a little, chatted with James a little, and then went to bed.

Saturday morning, I woke up to my dad yelling at my 16 year old brother for playing video games. He then came into my room and told me to clean up before I left for a science fair thing. I told him that he should tell my 14 year old brother that he might not be picked up at 8:40 like we planned the night before but probably closer to 10. He yelled at me and called me selfish and trying to manipulate the situation and I called him selfish for not considering Daniel and making him suffer for something the didn't do. I said that I could commit suicide and he wouldn't care. Then, he threw me out of the house for threatening him. I was out the front door in a camisole, jeans, and had no shoes. Fed up, I walked to Bella's house. Her parents had went out to pick up Bella's younger sister and when I got there, Bella was asleep. I went downstairs for a little bit and played with the dogs and finally, went to wake her up. I cried a little while telling her that I ran away from home and then we went downstairs for food and TV. We started the Libertine while she went to take a shower (and really, that was an amusing movie from the half that I saw). Her parents came back and we talked it out a little and they decided to kidnap me for the day and take me out to a musical with them. Before the musical started, we went to a really nifty store called Buffalo Exchange or something along those lines and Bella and I managed to find shirts and pants for a dollar each! Exciting! I got a pair of bondage pants that we all thought were very amusing. Score! They had really cute skirts too, but they were too big. Bella said I was mean for complaining that the skirts were too big. Eh.

We went to Gammage to see Sweeny Todd and while it was an alright musical, the instruments made me happy. The storyline was hard to understand with the way they did everything, but I liked it...for a high school calibre play. It wasn't though...

Dinner was interesting. We went to downtown Chandler to a brewery and sat down to eat. Bella and I split two appetizers and then her and her sister decided to wander so I followed them. We ogled the lingerie store slightly and lamented when the bridal shop (with interesting dresses) was closed. There were some spiffy shops in that stretch. We headed home and then changed clothes. James showed up soon after and we dropped off Bella's sister and her friend and went to a friend's birthday gathering thing. By the time we got there, half of the people were leaving (eh.) and so we hung around until her sisters left and then went to the park.

The first four people there got onto swings (which was fun) and after not wanting to walk on the wood chips, James carried me to the sand. Otter almost commanded James to take his shoes off and so I was transferred to Otter while James pried his shoes off. Protesting and wanting to be let down, Otter tried to make me uncomfortable by pretending to drop me. Jerk. Well, he finally set me down and James wandered over from the wall he was leaning for support on. We decided to play Hot Lava Monster and we did for awhile. Some of the people weren't very good and so basically, people would get into a spot that was kind of hard to get to and then sit there. James and I claimed the space leading to the spiral slide and we stayed there for awhile.

After a whole ton of holding hands and being couple-y and cute, James leaned a tad closer and conversation ensued:

"Hey [Scarlet], I've been thinking...This is practically a relationship."
"Yeah," We were talking in hushed murmur-esque tones so anything sounded like I was hanging to his every word.
"Do you want to make this a full relationship?" Here, my mind was screaming. This was the one person I focussed on getting, the one person I thought would be hard to get. He was the one with commitment and trust issues (well, probably not trust, he said he trusted me). No way. Someone pinch me.
"If you wanted," I replied. To me, it sounded nonchalant and apathetic...like I couldn't care less. I smiled, trying to make that feeling go away. I really do care!
"I really do." NO WAY...this is just too good...
"Okay," I was giggly at this point.

So, that was the giddiest conversation I've had in like...four or five months? Yeah. Silently rocking out because I am no longer single and I've only really told one person. I have a wonderful life! Yeah, so we then spent the rest of the time like...attached. It was just silly.

On the way home, (since he drove us around) he let me drive the huge minivan thing he brought along. It was so very amusing. I was going around 65 on a 45 mph street at one point. We laughed about it. We laughed about a lot of things, really...At my driveway, we both got out of the car (well, he had to get to the driver's seat, right?) and so as I was leaving, he gave me a super long hug. We "planned" something for the next weekend ("since I've seen you for three weeks straight before.") and finally, after like...three minutes of not wanting to leave each other, a random tag out of nowhere (haha it was funny), and at least two "I love you"s, I turned and left him. I guess, in a way, I already do love him, but so far, I've just meant it as an extended friendly thing. I know he's good for me, I trust him, and I'd give up anything to help him, so I guess, in another way, I love him. I don't know, what does Love mean? There were so many places where, going back, I could have easily kissed him or he could have easily kissed me, but I don't want it to go that quickly. I mean, sure, we could say that we've been really close for a longer time, but I don't want to repeat past relationships that were definitely flawed. The evening was silly and fun, and I'll see him tomorrow though, so it's not like harsh.

-I Never Thought Tonight Would Be Like This
Scarlet Bloodmoon