Euthanasia

Standing amongst a crowd of maybe two thousand as they all shouted and counted down, I waited. There was nothing really to wait for, the coming of a new year, the going of the old. As the crowd shouted "Happy New Year!" I choked back a sob. Why was it that in a huge crowd of people, I had never felt more lonely in my life? I couldn't concentrate on anything else to distract me, it just... 20 seconds from midnight, the crowd started counting; few people at first. Around 15 seconds, the crowd got more into it. I joined in. 13, 12, I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't speak, wouldn't trust my voice. I watched. What was it? Why was it?

December has been amazing. Umm...the first thing that comes to mind is my birthday. Around lunch ish, James took me out to a park and we had a picnic. After packing up most of the things, he slipped in mud, and we decided that he was basically hopeless without me. We fed ducks. After that, we went to book stores, wandered and eventually went home.

Umm...smoked cigarettes for the first time in my life. It was interesting...I guess. The weird thing is my mom says I am the type of person to get addicted easily. I've never really been addicted to anything, except maybe the endorphins from being with people or doing things with people. What else did I do? Nothing really...I guess I don 't do much outside of normal routine, eh?

-Possess me, Control me, Destroy me
Scarlet Bloodmoon