I Just Have a Thing for Numbers

Today is five months from the day we first started things. It was right there...I can see it from where I am on my bed. Right in front of my dresser. He asked where I preferred it, I asked where he wanted to be. There were no fireworks, but he told me I was delicious. I don't know, this was the moment where I realized how to treat a female -- mistress or lady. This was the moment I realized that no matter what, all females have that basic need to be nurtured and held, to be kissed gently and told they are loved. I'm surprised it took me that long to realize that I'm closer to the other girls at school than I had ever hoped or that I was actually similar in some way to all of the girls around me. I had gone from being an object to being loved and tenderly caressed and stroked. It was an event full of laughs and I realized then that we had something really cool. We could laugh at anything. It could have been the most awkward and embarrassing thing ever, but we were able to laugh at ourselves and to walk away from it even closer than before.

There are just some things that don't leave. I remember the day we decided to experiment in rooms, I remember when we got stuck in Vegas in October. Numbers just come easy for me.

Umm...oh. It feels like he's very enthusiastic. In the way he caresses my legs and kisses his way up, I can just feel his love and devotion. I love the way it feels, and it's almost like he's a cat lapping up sweet cream, like he can't ever get enough. Anyways, it just drives me insane...

Hmm...what else? I miss being able to do the things we used to do. I miss being about to curl with him on a couch or to lay with him and fall asleep in his arms. I miss being able to be so close to him, to be able to kiss him, to fool around on a bed...just to spend time with him. Maybe I had never thought I'd actually be here, but I'm at the point where I don't even need sex most of the time...it's just for when I really really can't fix it and it almost hurts. What does hurt is not being able to nap with, sleep with, fuck with him. I miss the way things were a few months ago. I miss being trapped in Vegas with him.

-Painful Memories with Happy Endings
Scarlet Bloodmoon