My Life in Terms of PostSecret

I guess my first encounter with PostSecret was while sitting in the family room watching one of those music channels before it was all rap and reality junk. All American Rejects had just come out with "Dirty Little Secret" and their music video was playing on MTV or Fuse or one of those. Anyways, all throughout the video, they have people hold up little secrets. Those come from the first PostSecret book. This was my first encounter with the project, though at the time, I had no idea about it.

Next, it was probably the day after Christmas 2007 in Vegas. My mother and I were shopping at the Forums and wandered into an Anthropologie. I guess the fact that the store was completely "liberal" and "hippie" attracted both my mother and I, so we spent a decent amount of time in there. I tend to shop based on the price tag, and since this was the Forums, it'll all be expensive stuff that I might try to find a knock-off of elsewhere. So, I wandered to the back of the store, and there was a little section of books just piled ontop of each other. It was a simple brown book that looked like it was wrapped in a paper grocery bag. Big black lettering read "Post Secret." Okay. I opened it up. I flipped through the pages, read the secrets, and I guess I might have connected with some, cried over others, and was appalled at how violent the others were. We left shortly after.

Sometime in mid 2008, an application on Facebook invited me to a Post Secret application thing were it allowed you to attach secrets to posts and comments. This reminded me of the project, and so I went to their website. I browsed through pages and pages of people's favorite secrets, the painful ones, the sweet ones, and the ones that made me cry for hours because it made me feel so empty or because I connected way too much to the heartbroken and slightly pitiful people. I wrote some of the things I wish I could tell people on little pieces of cardstock I had in my room, hid them away, stared at the hiding place, and eventually burned the bits of secrets I had written. They aren't important anymore anyways. I saved all the secrets from PostSecret that I enjoyed: the ones that I laughed at, the ones that were super sweet, or the ones that made me giggle because they were ludacris and bold.

I have a feeling that there is a postcard out there for every step of my life. There is a postcard out there that can perfectly summarize my childhood, the hatred I had for people going through my things, the annoyance every time someone dug through my drawers to find the bag of candy I was planning on saving. There is a postcard for high school. Something about finding and losing friends and about falling in and out of love. There is one that will summarize the rest of my adult life. I hope it's a good one.

So I guess in the spirit of this whole huge blog post about PostSecret, the postcard of the day:


We had an AcDec party at James' house today. At 6:36 ish, I get to his house, open the front screen thing and walk into the living room. His dad kind of double-takes as I walk in and I manage a super pathetic hello because my voice was shot from being sick. Sat down, watched some South Park, and eventually talked about what we were planning on having for dinner. Eventually went to Arby's, because they had a really good deal going on. Sat around waiting for Dmitri to finish a cigarette, talked about how pathetic he is, and then headed back. Spent the last hour watching The Onion Movie and curling up with James. It was all good and fun. I miss being able to do that. I want to be able to stay in his arms for hours, listening to his heart beating.

At the end of the hour, I totally didn't want to go. (Wow, that was a really crappy summary...) Anyways, that was the secret of that moment.