I can't stop counting. It's been about a year since the last time my earth shook from the ground up and came tumbling down upon me. It's been about a year since my longest relationship ended and seriously, I can't believe I never moved on quickly enough...I can't believe no one slapped me around until I realized it...I can't believe I wasted so much time...and I can't believe how irresponsible and immature we both were about it.
The only bit I'm allowing myself is that there was never really any closure...or I lied to myself about it and hid it all. A conclusion wasn't reached until June and it wasn't until August that it all stopped bothering me. 10 months after meltdown, it wasn't a big deal anymore...If only that were like 9.75 months shorter!
I guess the whole point of this post was to acknowledge that it's about a year tomorrow...or really close, but it doesn't matter to me anymore...ME the person who loves counting down and making milestones out of nothing! It feels so cool. Of course, I didn't make it out alone.
I'm so lucky I have the friends I do, have the people who love me love me like they do, have the people who secretly want me keep that a secret. I'm lucky I have a place to go to if I need to, a place to hide if I need to, a place to tear away all the masks if I need to. I'm so glad I could be who I am with the people around me, and that I could hide if I truly needed to. I love that I'm so secure right now.
So, it was fun when it lasted, we had a good run, and seriously, I nothing you. I feel nothing for you anymore. There is no hate, no love, no devotion, no respect, no anger, no annoyance, nothing. You are neutral and until something amazing happens and you awe me, there will be nothing from me. I'm done with everything about you: Goodbye.
-Like a snake sheds her skin
Scarlet Bloodmoon
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