I can't get into a relationship just for fun...I know that these things aren't permanent...and I don't get so picky. I mean, if my next relationship would be the one I had to stick with for the rest of my life, I'd actually be picky...I'd actually analyze, follow, and get to know this person to the fullest extent. I wouldn't be playing for challenges...I'd be playing for real...but life isn't like that and no matter what, I will still be playing for challenges. I will still revolve my life around these games I love so much.
Written in June, I was reading over this before something clicked. After talking everything out with James the other day, he asked if we had stayed friends instead of getting into a relationship the first time, would we have a relationship today. Would we have talked about as much as we did when I was in Europe? He thought so. Then yes. He asked if that was what really brought back the relationship, if he was the only person I really talked to. Yes and no. The amounts of talking didn't do it, it was getting to know him. It was realizing that I had played for the challenge the first time, and finding that he was perfect if I wanted to play for real.
That totally means that I've matured enough to consider things for real! That totally means that I'm no longer playing to maintain a pattern or to prove a point, I'm doing this for real. This time, it's real. I'm glad I'm changing. I know it's for the better and I'm glad that I'm finally becoming someone better than who I've been. Let's hope I'm never foolish enough to play for challenges anymore.
-My Life is Perfect
Scarlet Bloodmoon
Title from: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been by Relient K
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