Driven

I think there's always something to drive me to compete with people. So this time, as long as James is blogging everyday, I will try too. Um...not much happened today, so there really isn't much to talk about or complain about...Let's see:

I guess in a way, I'm conceited to a point where I drive off the potential success of people. I believe that I can do anything better and that people celebrate and magnify things way too much. Of course, it only applies to certain people, and it really doesn't make sense at all why I feel this way. I'm just weird I guess.

I've been listening to Chinese music all day long. It started off as genuine curiosity over a band and then I just got hooked. I enjoyed pulling the songs apart and would smirk every time I found a phrase or thing I understood. It made me happy that I could pick out these things. It made me feel better about myself and the fact that most of the time, I feel I'm losing my culture and roots. Maybe that's what this cultural melting pot does: strips people of their cultures and implements a conglomerate that doesn't quite represent the culture they had lost.

Oh, so my mother has always loved hearing stories of American born Chinese people that return to Taiwan/China and become huge stars and such. She's often suggested we go back to Taiwan and do something with our lives. I only love ABC stars because they will often sing in both Chinese and English and they actually make it work. This leads me to my other point: half Asian children are beautiful. They are. It's the mixture of the Asian darker coloring with a paler skin tone and a more "healthy-looking" facial structure and shape. Their eyes are just a little bit bigger, their faces a little more round, and they look really pretty. I used to envy my cousins because they were just a little bit lighter and just a little different. And since I am super sure I'm not going to end up procreating with an Asian guy, I guess I can envy my children for the rest of my life.

I planted a tulip bulb today. It is currently in the refrigerator and has to be there for about 12 weeks. Exciting, isn't it? Andrei was basically ecstatic to find out what I was doing and decided to pot and grow weeds from the backyard. Okay. It was a messy process and imagine my surprise to find that the pot I had originally intended didn't drain well and basically became a mush of old, dry potting soil and water. It was gross. I also baked the last of my cookies today. Maybe I should just start making cookie dough myself and freeze it.

-Well, that was tangent-y
Scarlet Bloodmoon